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BOOK PREVIEW: Chapters on this site were uploaded as they are considered "complete". However there have been some changes as we perfomed final editing while approaching publication, so what is here may not be "exact". But if you like what you see, the book will be in prit, Fall 2017! ISBN 13: 978-1975783709 (978-1975783709)
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BELOW is a note that my former wife left me, with an important message about The Future!
This is an email that I sent out 3/16/2016, titled:
In My Book: the best is yet to come!
Greetings of love to you this day!
I was up early this morning, adding to the last chapter of "my book" ("It's All About Love") , because of a dream sequence I had just experienced before sunrise.
A few weeks ago, after stepping out of the shower, I wrote what I thought would be called "The Last Chapter", knowing full well, that there never is a "last chapter" to anything. So, this morning, I added to that chapter, and I thought I might share what I just wrote with a few friends:
Yes, our human potentials are constantly developing, so despite the great experiences we've already had, our best experiences are yet to come, as we each grow and develop further, beyond where we are right now. And, yet, where we are now may have potentials that we never saw before, potentials that when realized may put us on a whole new understanding that we may be experiencing situations better than we thought, even right now.
I'll give an example, here, one that was shown to me in a dream, by my former wife, now my angel, that I knew and loved for over 20 years as Martine.
We, as human beings, often find ourselves in situations where we are required to work , shop and live with other human beings. We tend to look at these situations with an attitude of "let's just get this done". Some will look at these situations and think, "Here we are together, randomly arranged, and we'll get through this and then go on to something else."
But, what I was shown in this dream was that as we go about our days, through our situations, seemingly very down to earth, there is an energy that is being exchanged, one to another , back, and around throughout the group of people you are with, at any time and at all times. And this is the energy of love.
Viewed from what might be called a "balcony seat" where all of us go eventually, as we exist in the afterlife or angelic perspective of love, we are really in these situations to express , exchange and feel the love that we truly are. This is why, Jesus, who lived in an "elevated" awareness of love, so he healed with love, spoke with love and was love lived and expressed through human flesh said, "Where two or more are gathered, there I am." There, and even here where you are, is the love of Creator, that you too are a part of; both Creator and Creation, all of which would not be without love. You, too can be open to that higher awareness, as he was, simply by lightening up a little more in life, stepping away from all the judgments and looking for, feeling and being the love in any and every situation you are in, each day.
Is this some unachievable "pipe dream"? Well, while it might seem that way, if you thought you would just magically become this way overnight, nut I, you, we can do this by becoming aware of the love, the love that resides in each one of us, by raising our awareness one small step and situation at a time.
So, today, I am planning to try to see and be the love being exchanged, in any and all (if possible) situations, as I go out and step into my day.
So here are my last words for you, the reader:
You, I, we are eternally valid and supported by the universe of which I, you, we are a part. Thus I, you and we, each and every one, all exist both within and beyond physical existence and expression! And, IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE!
I now challenge you to go forth and BE the love in your day. I am taking this as my personal challenge. And, my angel told me it would be good for me!
Chapter 2 - WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE?
It has often been said that Love is what makes the world go 'round. But, it also makes atoms go into a spin and causes the planets, galaxies and clusters rotate. And, believe it or not, love is also the cause of the spin of our politics and politicians as well as our other promotions; personal, business, religious and otherwise.
But, as it turns out, all this spinning enriches and enlivens us as we are moved on from where we were to a different place in time and space, with a different attitude, so that we might see things from a new perspective, a different angle. This movement keeps us alive and vital. It also allows us to understand more about who we are along with understanding more about the life around us, thus expanding and enriching who we are, so that what we previously took for granted is now refined and even possibly redefined. This is the process that allows us to eventually understand that we may actually fall in love with it all; with all of life and All-That-IS.
Now, greater and yet deeper than that, and even more personally, Love is Who We Are. As both the atoms in our bodies and the love that is in our hearts is continually spinning within us. All this relates to both how and why we are here! Thus, no matter how you look at life and how you came into being and even came to be here on this earth, with a human body, love was somehow involved at all levels.
Even if your parents were miserable and thus treated you miserably, there had to be a spark of love between them to create your physical human body! Some call this love physical and then try to demote it, when it is just one of the many aspects of the infiniteness of what love truly is ... an unseen divine, creative and even quantum energy that pervades the universes.
So, as living, breathing human beings, we constantly strive for love; to love and be loved and then to understand that process in our hearts. Of course, the scientists have trouble analyzing it and quantifying it, so they usually give up before they start, because in the final analysis, it just IS ... an isness that is beyond definition. Our souls, not just our minds or bodies, have put us on a course and a quest for love that we don't and can't always completely understand, and yet it is there!
Emotionally, we can and do feel love. Love, like gravity, is an attraction between you and person, idea, event, situation or thing. Again, in this way, love moves us, enlivens us, inspires us and enlightens us. It even helps us feel lighter, emotionally and sometimes mentally and physically, too!
This spark of the light of love, then drew your soul, and others, to look at the possibilities that might lie ahead in this world, with this body, these parents, in their time, financial situation, psychological orientation and society. This is how souls are drawn to this physical expression upon this earth, by the possibilities of experiencing an expansion of love as it is experienced in the giving and receiving, so that we may understand the love that lies within, more solidly and completely. In this way, we are anchoring love in the earth.
All of the above illustrates how the spiritual aspects of love are involved in our lives, so that each soul grows, thus becoming more grand, brighter and enlightened.
And in healing, love is the Grand Elixir, a necessary element in our prescription for a better life, health and healing. Sharing our love for and with others so that they may learn to love themselves is the true healer of all the ills in this world.
How? Because, each and every thing, event, situation and person in this world was created in love, for love, to love, be love and be loved. Love is a living energy! So, what is, or was, naturally continues upon its own creative path of love. So it is that love even makes our worlds go 'round, naturally
And so where two or more people are gathered, this unseen, natural and holy energy of love has brought them together into the relationship they are in. So it is that we may consider any and all relationships to be holy, where our interiors and exteriors meet, during the situation or event that we are involved in. In the best of moments, these people are melded by the heat of love, allowing those each person to meet the others and awaken to the awareness that they/we are all One. And in that moment, love is fulfilled in the experience of the oneness of being, which is the point and purpose of love itself.
Thus, though Martine and John are seemingly separated by “death”,they were and still are in and of this oneness of love, which is both divine and quantum at the same time! But, so are you!
In the words of P'taah: "Love is another name for God-Goddess and All-That-Is. Love is not some ephemeral idea construct. Love is the building block of existence, without which there is no multiveses, no galaxies, no planet earth, no mountains, no oceans, no people, no cockroaches. Love is the life force! There is not an atom or a molecule that can be in existence which does not owe its existence to love and God-Goddess and All-That-Is. So in other words, there is nothing which is not divine. Divinity, spirituality is all one, and you are all one because you are perfect eternal expressions of that love or that divinity or that source of creation, or whatever you want to call it; God-Goddess, All-That-Is. And there is not one time when you are separate from that Truth, really. It does not matter if you are using your bathroom, drinking your wine, making hate, making love, making war, whether you are abusing or bring abuse, it does not matter. You are (still) perfect eternal expressions of creation. You are grand spiritual beings. You are One, All One!"
CHAPTER 4 – LIFE ADAPTS
TO WHAT IT NEEDS TO BE
Often times, one's life has to come apart so it can come back together in a new and more enriching way.
So, after being divorced and single for more than 3 years, in March of that year, as my life was still in flux, I finally decided to attend my first "high school reunion". Though I had graduated from high school over 35 years before, I had never been to a reunion before. Though I did not know it at the time, this was a piece of the puzzle that had to fit in to make this story what it is. I have since learned that we never know when, where or how, spirit works behind the scenes to help us create the lives we need and desire!
At that reunion, on a whim, I had my picture taken. So, later on, when I needed a picture to publish in the singles newspaper for my personal ad, I had a current photo. So, late in my advertising game, I used that photo to publish in the singles newspaper that Martine would eventually see so we could meet!
So, a few months later I was ready to begin advertising my availability in a singles newspaper which I had suddenly discovered, that the universe most likely put along my path so I would use it, I had what I needed. Today, of course, one might join an on-line dating site instead. But, these were the early days of the internet, and there were no dating site, yet. Only a few people even had access to the internet at the time, even though I did.
So, my first advertisement was all words and soon I began to make contact with prospective new life partners. Over the next few months I had coffee and conversation with close to two dozen ladies. However, as I felt I wasn’t meeting the kind of lady I was looking for, I was changing the wording of my ad every few weeks and eventually added the photo taken of me at my high school reunion.
What I read in the book, "To Dance with Angels" was beginning to take a noticable affect on my thinking, feeling and life course. The advoce this discarnate entity, "Dr. Peebles" gave me was instrumental in my finding a new and better life-course and journey through this life.
In July of this particular year, I was to be the speaker at the Breaking Barriers group for the evening. I chose a presentation about how we can and must use love in our business affairs. After all, business, as well as all other pursuits in life rely on human relationships. As many in the group were looking for love, I chose this presentation to emphasized love as being a necessary part of life even in a business philosophy and its operation. The point being that relationships are the basis of living so, we must use love each other to help things flow smoothly where ever we are. So even in the worlds of businesses and finance, love (not sex) is necessary in order to find complete fulfillment, because our lives are all about people working together with other people.
Strangely enough, that same July evening, a new blonde lady with a French accent came to the Breaking Barriers meeting for the first time. I found out later that she had been invited 6 months before by another facilitator that she worked with. However, this new lady had told her co-worker, and group facilitator, “I don’t want to be ‘hit upon’”, to which the facilitator said, “It’s not that kind of group”. This new lady wasn’t convinced, so she waited “until the time was right”. Strangely, as I put the pieces together now, this “invite” happened about the time that Nan (Nancy) and I were briefly separated and also about the same time that I had seen the blonde lady in the white Honda at the stop sign.
As often happens, it takes us a while to decide to change our life, break our imagined barriers and move on from our "comfort zone", even when it’s actually uncomfortable. Inertia is not just a law of science and physics!
Well, after we broke up into our smaller discussion groups that particular evening, by lottery, I noticed that this new blond haired lady ended up in my small circle. And, she had a French accent. At that point, I thought, “That’s interesting, as a small boy I dreamed of marrying a French lady.” Then I thought, “I know nothing about her and I don’t want to use my position as leader to try to make a date with her.” Though I didn’t know it at the time, this was my first face to face meeting with my “dream girl” and future wife, Martine. At the time I trusted that the goodness and providence of God, angels and the universe would find a way to bring us together, if we were meant to meet outside this group!
The next month, I gave a presentation entitled, "Open Heart Surgery", based on the premise that even though as a single person you may feel that your heart has been battered, bruised, broken and maybe even stabbed, you must go beyond the pain, have faith in a better life and open your heart so you may be open enough to find that next grand relationship. Little did I know at the time that, I was speaking both to and from my own heart. Thus, I was speaking not only to the group, but to my own self, and to Martine; as her co-worker had invited her back again.
By that time, I had finally completely movedon from my prior relationship(s) with Nan. However, as I was still searching for the right lady for my “mirror” with which I might best know more about who I really am, with the hope that that we could grow together. As that process continued, I was contacted by another Nancy from my ad in the singles newspaper. Though she lived about 50 miles away, I decided to try a long distance relationship, which as it turned out only lasted a few monts. Then one evening she deceided that I wasn ot the one for her. One can speculate, from a ohysical standpoint, "why", but fom a spiritual standpoint it was time for me to move on, as God, my guides and the universe had a new relationship for me.
So you may wonder, did I have a “Nancy fetish”? As I think back, there was a time when, as a small boy that I had a crush on a couple of different little girls named Nancy. And, though nobody had ever exposed me to the idea of reincarnation, I thought at the time that I had previously been Married to one of them. However, at the same time, I also knew that I was no longer her husband! This is much like the awareness we have, as souls, after the transition we call “death”. I can attest that after the transition called death, we all love each other more and our former wives and lovers simply become our excellent friends without physical bodies! Whatever love there was, never dies.
In the state in that we call “death” it is well understood that one person does not comeback as the same one, for each is unique. But as the human person and personality is an off shoot from one’s ever creative multidimensional soul source, the process we call “reincarnation” involves carrying over some aspects or certain portions of the Real You, from the Soul, some of which seem to be characteristics from one incarnation, exhibiting in another. And, “past-life memories” can be one of these carry overs.
Now, as my soul was looking for a mirror with which I could love and feel loved, as well as to appreciate and be appreciated, this breakup felt like the ending of my brief but enjoyable journey into my hopes and dreams. And it was a step to finding out a little more about who I really am. So, as I was driving home that evening, I felt like crying. I had not expressed my heart felt emotions in years, if not for decades.
At that point, I finally decided to be honest with myself and let myself feel the disappointment and sadness of my so-called “failed” hopes and pulled off the freeway to park and give myself permission to express my feelings through crying. Losses and certain other life changes are not always easy to take. So, I cried for about 15 minutes over the ending of that relationship. And then, afterward, I felt amazingly refreshed, like the fresh smell and feel of nature, just after a rain. These were cleansing tears, that relieved some of my stress, cleansed my eyes and tear ducts, and washed that woman right out of my life, so I could let go of a person and a relationship that I no longer needed in my life, but one that had taught me a great lesson about myself
Then, as I was pulling off the freeway, I suddenly realized that my father had told me at about age 4 that "Men don't cry". “You’re going to grow up to be a man, so you’re going to have to learn not to cry”. And as a small boy of about 4 years old, I had taken this to heart. But, as I was now 50, I felt that stuffing my emotions was no longer in my heart! I now realize that, my father and his generation were taught to stuff their emotions and so my father had difficulty to display his feelings, even affection. While this had fit very well with his religious upbringing and his scientific interests, this is not who I was, as a boy, or now in this moment! It also explains why I only “felt” love from my mother and not my father, though I “knew” he loved me.
At that point, I finally decided to be honest with myself and let myself feel the disappointment and sadness of my so-called “failed” hopes and pulled off the freeway to park and give myself permission to express my feelings through crying. Losses and certain other life changes are not always easy to take. So, I cried for about 15 minutes over the ending of that relationship. And then, afterward, I felt amazingly refreshed, like the fresh smell and feel of nature, just after a rain. These were cleansing tears, that relieved some of my stress, cleansed my eyes and tear ducts, and washed that woman right out of my life, so I could let go of a person and a relationship that I no longer needed in my life, but one that had taught me a great lesson about myself.
Interestingly enough, I had just, that week, had a conversation over coffee at Denny's, with another possible new girlfriend. Yes, it was with that blonde French lady from the discussion group, and she lived much closer than long distanced Nancy. So, I was ready to move on in my life, to explore love in new ways, anyway, possibly with someone else in a situation better suited for each other.
How did all this come about?
Lo and behold, a couple of weeks after the Breaking Barriers meeting, in September, I received a letter in my post office box from a lady that lived 12 miles away in the city of Parris, CA. She was responding to my ad in the singles newspaper. As, I wasn’t meeting the kind of lady I was looking for, during the several months I had been changing and refining the message in my ad along the way, I was glad to find someone with an energy that that felt like we were both being honest with each other and we could get along together, easily.
But, about a month before receiving her letter, I had added the word, "metaphysical" to my ad and only weeks before added the picture taken in March at my high school class reunion. (Surprisingly, coming across that photo about 20 years later, I realized that I had thick dark hair in those days.) Though I had met up to two dozen fine ladies for coffee, over the 3 months or so that my ad had been running, not a single one had caught my interest, as I was looking for love, but based on a bond of friendship. But, finally, here was a possibility!
Martine later told me, one evening, while waalking out of the supermarket, she saw a singles' newspaper. Though she "never picked them up", this evening she deceided to, "just to see what was in it". When she opened it and saw the word "Metaphysical" in my ad. And , as she had studied Astrology, this word caught her attention. And then when she saw the picture, and she said to herself, "I know that man from somewhere. I think I'll write to him."
So, later that week, I found her letter in my post office box, gave her a call and we agreed to meet at a local Denney's restaurant for foffee the following weekend.
She was the first one to arrive at Denny's and was waiting by the cash register. So, when I walked in the door, this short blond lady said to me, "Oh it's you!" She obviously recognized me from being at the BreakingBarriers discussion group. We talked for nearly 3 hours, and had something to eat, agreeing to meet and do something together the next weekend.
Our friendship and love seemed to develop from there as we started going to the singles dances together, had dinners together, took a few day trips together and after several months, became inseparable friends.
Thank You, Universe! I give thanks to the love that I am, the love that I feel and the love that surrounds me!
Life becomes a joy as I/you/we honor the life and love that we are, as we come together in in love with self and then as two lovers, expanding into forming communities; rather than living in complete separation from others so we may xperience Life Expressed, Lived and Enjoyed and share who we are with each other. Life becomes complete only as we embrace each other. This is what Jesus alluded to when he said, “Love one another”.
TWO COOPERATE AS ONE
Our Forever Team
"The truth about love is that love is whole and complete in and of itself and requires no return." - Lightsource P'taah
As I was in my fifth century upon this earth, it was time to do something different, after my 40 years as a Computer Engineer in the Aerospace and Defense business. As my astrologer, Martine, explained, I was going through my “second return of Saturn,”, which means “changes”. I was involved in a top secret environment and my job duties were shifting so that I was becoming more of who I now (as I write this) understand my soul’s preferences for this lifetime. So, at this point I was becoming a Technical Writer and Artist. But, then, I have always been a writer and an artist, so this role fit the spiritual side of my personality perfectly, even though I was in a highly technical, physically oriented, environment! Thus, my salary was able to tide us over while Martine found her next job.
Looking back, though with all the job changes between us, it might have appeared that our lives were falling apart, but in fact the puzzle pieces of our lives were fitting perfectly together. It has been said, “Sometimes your life must fall apart so it can come together” and that was certainly true for us, individually and collectively.
However, as I was the son of parents who had been money earning professionals and my brothers were an engineer and a chemist, our family culture gave me the impression that with my good education and job, I would never be unemployed. Though unsaid, we pick up some of these ideas about life, simply by assumption. But, I now know to, “Never say never".
But, then as the defense and missile business was taking another downturn, I became unemployed, just as Martine had, earlier. But, by now as I was out of work, she was regularly employed as a temporary full-time accountant, in charge of the recreational and charitable side businesses of a company located 50 miles away from our home, so again together we could survive, this time with her income, my unemployment checks and my good line of credit.
Martine’s temporary job, as an accountant, was near the a very fashionable regional shopping mall, an area which Martine was thrilled to work in and enjoy the local upscale restaurants, off of Avocado St., near the beach. Being the type of person Martine was, she loved being in the abundance of that area, thus on occasion we had several nice lunches and dinners at some upscale restaurants near where she worked. Being French, Martine loved food, and through her training as a chef, she also loved its preparation, presentation and the tastes involved in fine dining. This was a very nice time of life for both of us, as we were getting to know each other better and by now, because of our compatibility, even beginning to consider marriage.
As, during this time, I was unemployed for 18 months, even with Martine's income to help pay the bills, I ran up over $30,000 in debt on my credit cards. Could I ever pay this off? Well, I have learned through these and other experiences that the only guarantee that life gives us is "You'll get through this ... somehow", and so over time, working and playing together as a team, we started paying off this debt!
Over that time of my unemployment, I was also retraining for a more hands-on computer networking career. After over a year of being unemployed, my first part time job, though temporary, was in the computer networking field. So, after a couple of weeks of being needed for my talents and earning an income, it ran out. But, then another jib appeared, also in the big city, but this one had more hours and a more regular schedule. Instead of being a computer software engineer, as I had been for 40 years, I was now dealing with computer hardware and networking, but driving long distances, just to bring in the money home that we needed. Meanwhile the credit balances were climbing, as (contrary to what I have heard our politicians say) unemployment income is not enough income to live on, though it does help one get by until they can find a “real income”.
So, 18 months after I was laid off of my very good full-time job in the engineering field, I found a full-time temporary job 90 miles away from home with a 2-hour drive, each way. It was “work” just to get to and from work, but with a regular income, despite the long hours and drive into and from the big city, I took it.
Soon after that, as I was laid off that job, I found another computer networking job that was described as "40 hours, temp to perm". Though I was still in the computer field, I had taken a 40% pay cut from my previous position as a Fortran Programmer. But, as Martine said to me, soon after being laid off that job, "You have become like the dinosaurs, with technology changing, your old job has become extinct." So, I was being moved into the computer networking age ... as I had considered at least 10 years previously, but didn't know how to make that transition. Now, the Universe was making this change for me! And as my new job evolved I became a computer network designer and installer for several Defense Department computer network installations, among them, the new top secret Air Force F-22 facility. Here I was, back in a Too Secret facility, as I was a few years before, but I was now this one in a different capacity.
And it was about this time when, that job moved to another location, and it became a permanent full-time job. And in this new location, near a commuter rail depot, I found that I could read, work or relax as I took the Metrolink train to and from work most days.
Then, as my job frustrations were beginning to ease up Martine found another job temporary job, closer to home, at an Avocado grower and wholesaling company. I loved having avocados in my salads, so for me, this was an ideal situation, almost like I was in heaven with avocados every day. And, though temporary, this job soon became permanent, as they liked her work in accounting and Martine’s job title again became, Accounting Manager!
Now, with both of us employed, and as Martine's white Honda had been stolen from my driveway and my Dodge van was getting old, Martine decided that it was time to buy, not one, but two newer cars. And since she had heard that Hondas were the number one most stolen car, we went to a Toyota dealer. I was able to buy a new car and Martine, due to her bankruptcy had to buy a smaller used car at a high interest rate, but she saw this as her first step to "credit repair". And, as it turned out, it was!
Yes, we were turning into a team that could get through anything!
After Martine’s Graduation into the Greater Light of Love and Creation (we call “death”), I was told, by Martine through a medium:
"Don't you realize and remember that our relationship transcended time and space, even before we met? And even as we lived upon the earth, that transcended time and space, too. We didn't have to say everything to each other, for we knew it in our hearts. We've been relating this way for a very long time. And the absence of the physical is in and of itself an illusion, for you even feel me there with you at night.This is the Love Eternal ... Everlasting."
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